Wednesday, June 29, 2011

If MacGuyver was a Stay At Home Mum...

The other day, my family and I went grocery shopping at our local IGA, as we generally do on a weekly basis.

As we’d finished, my other half remembered and item that we’d forgotten, and quickly ran back inside the supermarket to get it.
To keep my 2 boys amused while he was gone, I decided to treat them to that grabby-claw-machine-thing-that-grabs-dodgy-prizes.

This one is actually a good one. Not one of those machines with a really limp claw that couldn’t get a grip on a magnetically charged, super-glue covered, velcro ball.

Therefore, in the end, our machine booty consisted of: 1 very ugly teddy bear key ring, 1 plastic spinning top that lights up (which broke on its second use), and 1 bubble blowing tube of bubbly funstuffs!
I passed my eldest, Jasper, the plastic top, my youngest, Atticus, the tube of bubbles, and popped the ugly teddy bear keyring into my bag (where I have a rapidly growing ugly teddy bear keyring collection! Please don't spill water in my handbag, or feed my handbag after midnight) and we headed to the car.

As we were loading our groceries into the car, Jasper was inside the car and Atti was standing very close to us as to not run around the car park, or so I thought...

He had been shoving the tube of bubbles up the exhaust pipe! By the time we noticed what he was doing, the tube was stuck up there. My partner tried to get it out with the car keys and was getting completely frustrated. So I told him to get Atti in the car, and I’d deal with the exhaust.

I searched my handbag, found a bobby pin and channelled MacGuyver. I made the bobby pin into a claw shape, manoeuvred the ends in around the tube, and “hey presto”, easily pulled the tube out. I had saved the day!

Although I am slightly disappointed that we didn’t get to drive down the main street of town, leaving a trail of bubbles blown behind the car.

Look out for next week's installment of MacVoluptacon when I endevour to toilet train using polypiping, tree bark and orange juice. Will teach the kids to eat vegies with the aid of PVA glue ,a roll of butcher's paper and a map of Wisconsin. And will retrieve foreign objects from the ear canal using a spatula, the backlog of Reader's Digests from 1984 and a broken Soda Stream.

I don't think MacGuyver could cut it as a stay at home mum!

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Pillow Talk

At the end of the day my partner and I like to relax and chat about the important issues in life and the world:


-"What If we adopted a child from Mongolia? A girl! I’d like to call her Genghis Larry and teach her traditional Mongolian throat singing".

-"I wonder if you could use alpacas like you can use horses? I wonder if you could harness them up to a gypsy caravan and go on holidays? How long would it take to get to Queensland you think?"

Death and funeral arrangements:
-"When I die, I want you to throw yourself onto my burning coffin like a hysterically grieving widow".
-"Ok then, but only if I can roll myself in the stuff that they coat Sparklers with first, then do it!".
-"Sure. Works for me!"

These are just a few examples of the conversations my partner and I have had once we get into bed after a long day.
Ok, Ok, we also we like to talk about the serious stuff and everyday stuff too, like work, the kiddies and whether we could turn our wheelie bins into robots and they can take themselves out (but only if that didn’t lead them to them running riot through the streets doing donuts, drag racing and generally being hoons. Can you imagine the scourge of wheelie bin hoons?)

But I seem to find that we talk better in the comfort of our own bed, like we are more relaxed and the lines of communication are more open.

I was wondering, do you and your partner talk at the end of the day? A basic daily round up? Talks about Life, the Universe and Everything? Primal grunting?
Where do you like to chat? In bed, on the couch, at the dinner table... or on a banana lounge drinking Fluffy Duck...?